So here's me.
this weekend, I'll be holed up in my room,
I've already had enough coffee to fuel a small army, and I'm on day 3 of a headache that wont quit.
I had to take a break from writing up Frankenstein and Blade Runner notes,
I've two english exams next week, then two weeks of holiday...gooodness.
So, anyway, I set myself up, took a nice shower, threw on an audiobook, got warm,
started typing like a motherfucker, and I suddenly became amazed at how annyed I was with American spell check.
Yeah, so you'll piss me off and put that antagonising red squiggly line that points out what a literary fuckup you are under any word I use the "u" or "s" that is standard in EVERY OTHER ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, but when I write "Christ" with a lower case "c" you get all up in my grill and autocorrect me, something that wouldn't piss me off half as much if it actually recognised any other name.
What, you know "Christ" but you don't know "Bukowski"?
Then maybe I don't want your fucking help.
Around this time I find myself furiously taptaptapping away at the keyboard, right-clicking and correcting my "mistakes" and I have no problem with this until I find myself very quietly calling spellcheck the c-word and muttering "fuck you, America" under my breath, and I think hey, maybe it's time to take a break.
I liked the idea of keeping my blog as a regular thing, so I decided to post something on here, albeit after telling twitter what grinds my gears, so I went on to photobucket to look for an image to throw up here for the virtually needy, and I started finding all these photos from years ago, remembering the exact day that I took the picture, what was happening, what had happened recently, occured to me it might be a little odd.
Thinking about it, it might be kind of interesting to put that up here, for rememberance sake, because thinking about those pictures I was hit by a big load of clarity, and it was one of those moments, you know, where time totally changes, because I feel like no time has passed at all, and while I know I've learnt a lot from everything that happened way back when, I feel like there's been no time in between.
I know its only been three or four years but there are all these monumental events, that shouldn't even be real memories yet and their significance has become inescapable.
I'm finishing school this year.
I'm in year 12, I've completed 60% of my HSC, and next year, I'll be working and learning German, so that in 2011 I can move to Munich and start the 8 months that will, without a doubt, be some of the best memories of my whole life.
I've already decided, that despite my best efforts, I'm still a fuckup, thats just a part of who I am, always will be - not saying this is going to prevent me from kicking more ass than you can poke a stick at, but hey - and because of this, I probably won't get a good HSC or UAI mark, and get in to Melbourne.
I want to study journalism and political science, but I have absolutely no chance of getting in there as anything but a mature age student, I'll be travelling and doing LIFE SHIT.
Anyway, thats where I am, it's 2009, I'm sixteen, still practically a baby, and I'm nearly out in the big kid world for good.
And it feels like I've been shot out of some kind of time machine/ cannon, into right now from four years ago when I was 13 and stayed in my room for two weeks when I got grounded for...we'll just call it my moral ineptitude.
Everything is totally different, may as well be in a parallell universe.
I know, growing up.
I don't really sleep anymore, so much as I lie in the dark listening to audiobooks and wait to sleep, but when I'm doing that I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm going to remember of year 11 and 12, freshwater, my time with Wheals, my time with my parents, time with Cristin and Leish, new friends I've made, and the constant stream of times with Amelia, our friendship comes up to 11 years by now.
I'm starting to get sweet little memories from year 10, St. Lukes, all that kind of thing, which suprises me, really, because I was pretty much just drunk all the time.
One memory that I really love is my week in brisbane, the neat little hotel with the ensuite bathroom, waking up at one every day, reading Irvine Welsh, and Benjamin Nugent, lying in the bed that took up most of the immaculate space to a cold and empty apartment that spelled like coffee, overlooking a park and a lake, watching all the people do a whole lot of nothing, then going out to the nice reastaurant across the road, drinking appletinis and eating pretentious dinners, drinking bottles of shitty white wine with my family and stumbling down to see if we couldn't get a video from the convenience store.
I wonder if there's a clip show of the top 10 "get off my lawn" scenes on youtube...
Right now my hair is wet, and the last thing I said was "I don't care", I have to pee and I'm cold and sick and not feeling the slightest bit productive, but I don't feel tired either.
Imagine how satisfied I'll feel in the exam, smug with how full of imformation my usually void brain has become....
but probably not.
I feel bad for not being able to attend zinefest with Leishy today, and I did so want to go. I'm starting to feel selfish for wasting my time here, so I'll wrap it up with a little something from the future.
I'm looking forward to some time on the excercise bike, my two days sleeping in the holidays, the exams being over, my next visit from wonderboy, Pinney's visit to take my picture, my sweet escape suprise roadtrip with Silas, emaciation, sleep, schoolies for two weeks at nan tien temple, meditating, sleeping, drinking tea and shit all else.
So here's me going back to study, I'm just doing my job here.
this weekend, I'll be holed up in my room,
I've already had enough coffee to fuel a small army, and I'm on day 3 of a headache that wont quit.
I had to take a break from writing up Frankenstein and Blade Runner notes,
I've two english exams next week, then two weeks of holiday...gooodness.
So, anyway, I set myself up, took a nice shower, threw on an audiobook, got warm,
started typing like a motherfucker, and I suddenly became amazed at how annyed I was with American spell check.
Yeah, so you'll piss me off and put that antagonising red squiggly line that points out what a literary fuckup you are under any word I use the "u" or "s" that is standard in EVERY OTHER ENGLISH SPEAKING COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, but when I write "Christ" with a lower case "c" you get all up in my grill and autocorrect me, something that wouldn't piss me off half as much if it actually recognised any other name.
What, you know "Christ" but you don't know "Bukowski"?
Then maybe I don't want your fucking help.
Around this time I find myself furiously taptaptapping away at the keyboard, right-clicking and correcting my "mistakes" and I have no problem with this until I find myself very quietly calling spellcheck the c-word and muttering "fuck you, America" under my breath, and I think hey, maybe it's time to take a break.
I liked the idea of keeping my blog as a regular thing, so I decided to post something on here, albeit after telling twitter what grinds my gears, so I went on to photobucket to look for an image to throw up here for the virtually needy, and I started finding all these photos from years ago, remembering the exact day that I took the picture, what was happening, what had happened recently, occured to me it might be a little odd.
Thinking about it, it might be kind of interesting to put that up here, for rememberance sake, because thinking about those pictures I was hit by a big load of clarity, and it was one of those moments, you know, where time totally changes, because I feel like no time has passed at all, and while I know I've learnt a lot from everything that happened way back when, I feel like there's been no time in between.
I know its only been three or four years but there are all these monumental events, that shouldn't even be real memories yet and their significance has become inescapable.
I'm finishing school this year.
I'm in year 12, I've completed 60% of my HSC, and next year, I'll be working and learning German, so that in 2011 I can move to Munich and start the 8 months that will, without a doubt, be some of the best memories of my whole life.
I've already decided, that despite my best efforts, I'm still a fuckup, thats just a part of who I am, always will be - not saying this is going to prevent me from kicking more ass than you can poke a stick at, but hey - and because of this, I probably won't get a good HSC or UAI mark, and get in to Melbourne.
I want to study journalism and political science, but I have absolutely no chance of getting in there as anything but a mature age student, I'll be travelling and doing LIFE SHIT.
Anyway, thats where I am, it's 2009, I'm sixteen, still practically a baby, and I'm nearly out in the big kid world for good.
And it feels like I've been shot out of some kind of time machine/ cannon, into right now from four years ago when I was 13 and stayed in my room for two weeks when I got grounded for...we'll just call it my moral ineptitude.
Everything is totally different, may as well be in a parallell universe.
I know, growing up.
I don't really sleep anymore, so much as I lie in the dark listening to audiobooks and wait to sleep, but when I'm doing that I spend a lot of time wondering what I'm going to remember of year 11 and 12, freshwater, my time with Wheals, my time with my parents, time with Cristin and Leish, new friends I've made, and the constant stream of times with Amelia, our friendship comes up to 11 years by now.
I'm starting to get sweet little memories from year 10, St. Lukes, all that kind of thing, which suprises me, really, because I was pretty much just drunk all the time.
One memory that I really love is my week in brisbane, the neat little hotel with the ensuite bathroom, waking up at one every day, reading Irvine Welsh, and Benjamin Nugent, lying in the bed that took up most of the immaculate space to a cold and empty apartment that spelled like coffee, overlooking a park and a lake, watching all the people do a whole lot of nothing, then going out to the nice reastaurant across the road, drinking appletinis and eating pretentious dinners, drinking bottles of shitty white wine with my family and stumbling down to see if we couldn't get a video from the convenience store.
I wonder if there's a clip show of the top 10 "get off my lawn" scenes on youtube...
Right now my hair is wet, and the last thing I said was "I don't care", I have to pee and I'm cold and sick and not feeling the slightest bit productive, but I don't feel tired either.
Imagine how satisfied I'll feel in the exam, smug with how full of imformation my usually void brain has become....
but probably not.
I feel bad for not being able to attend zinefest with Leishy today, and I did so want to go. I'm starting to feel selfish for wasting my time here, so I'll wrap it up with a little something from the future.
I'm looking forward to some time on the excercise bike, my two days sleeping in the holidays, the exams being over, my next visit from wonderboy, Pinney's visit to take my picture, my sweet escape suprise roadtrip with Silas, emaciation, sleep, schoolies for two weeks at nan tien temple, meditating, sleeping, drinking tea and shit all else.
So here's me going back to study, I'm just doing my job here.
No comments:
Post a Comment